Attitude matters

My friend/boss called me today to ask a question. As soon as he heard my “Good morning!” I felt him smile. He proceeded to ask how I was - “Fantastic!” was my reply. He started laughing. And complimented me on my always great attitude. Even if my mood is not great, I am always answer the phone like I was just sitting and waiting for my “friend” to call me. And people love talking to me on the phone, even if they call wrong number, lol

Good attitude is a choice, and many of us choose to be miserable, and then they wonder why they are feeling so miserable, it all starts with that first Good morning and the first smile that you give yourself when you look in the mirror. Your all day is pretty much defined by that. I agree, there are some good days and some bad days. Have you noticed that when you are in a bad mood people shy away from you, and when you are smiling and beaming you become like a people magnet. People want to spend time with you, and don't want to leave. That could create another problem. People start taking advantage of you, and I guess that’s where I fall into. I get taken advantage of a lot, without even realizing that I am being used. Don't ask me how it works, I am still trying to figure it out myself.

First things first – Learn how to say NO. This is a problem for many people, sometimes it's hard to say NO. My cousin is dating, and if she does not like someone she will just stop taking their calls instead of just saying “I am not interested”. About few month ago or so, I offered my best friend to join me for the 3 day camping trip. I was really excited that I will get to spend 3 days with her! That was till she said that she got a wedding invitation for that weekend from a Russian girl that she saw maybe 3 times in her life, that girl was married to her ex-husband’s friend…..so she was blowing me off for a wedding invitation.  At first I did not say anything, I shot down as always, and then her roommate called in said that she is afraid of a big spider in the room. Since my friend is afraid of spiders herself she asked my husband to help her. As soon as they left, I found myself in the dark house all alone, it was after 10 pm. I felt more alone than I ever been. My husband just left me to help his ex-wife to fight a spider (my best friend is his ex) and my best friend blew me off for someone who she does not really know because she does not know how to say NO. I started pacing, thinking and feeling. I let my emotions and feelings take over me completely, I was shaking with anger and self-pity, my breath was shallow and rapid. Pacing brought me to the kitchen to the “calming tea” that I made for my friend and she did not even drink. It was still hot, and was comforting. I poured myself a cup. Then something broke inside of me. I started crying, I went outside to weep, and I did not want to disturb my son and his girlfriend. I was sitting, feeling sorry for myself, because nobody was going to do it for me, then my son came out, put his big arms around me and kept me company till my husband came home.

I called her same night, and I told her how much she hurt me. She did not even understand that I could be that upset over some camping trip. For me it was not just another camping trip, for me it was the time together. I felt that our relationship have changed after that, I felt betrayed.

She is still my friend, but I think it will take years till we are on the same page once again. We used to be very close for about 5-6 years, till she introduced me to one of her new friends, that drove a big wedge in our relationship (her friend did not like me), and only after 10 years we were beginning to get close again, till this episode happen. We still going to be friends but I don't know how long it will take to get close again.