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Love hurts, rejection can be fatal.

Today I write with heavy heart. The friend I thought I had have left. The girl he loved broke up with him. So he decided he no longer wants to live. He packed his bags and left my house. He broke my heart, he did not even say goodbye.
This story started about a year and a half ago. My husband’s friend asked if he can come for a visit, we had a spare bedroom so we agreed. It was a friend he has not seen in about 30 years. Time is nothing when you put a real friendship to the test. One day he called in and said: “I will be arriving in 2 days, can you pick me up from the airport?” With the time of his arrival, it made more sense for me to pick him up, so I did that. The airport is not far from my work, so I went and picked him up.
My husband picked him up from my work a few hours later. In the evening when we got home we introduced him to my son and his GF, showed him his room, his bathroom and showed him the house. He surprised me when he picked up cleaning supplies and started scru…

Looking into the soul of William Haubert

This is not my usual post. This is a repost of the comment that was written about my dear friend and a true Partner-in-Art William Haubert. 

Sk Chandan AliMy dear brother "Will" Haubert, if any day I am asked about you as a person, I must say that you are one of those people who relentlessly seek beatification in a realm of pain. Now why I mentioned "pain"? Your works told me. I know many will be taking me as lunatic, but yes, when I dissect someone as an artist, his/her arts often "talk" to me. That's why I tell people that my research will take minimum 48 or 72 hours, that's why I tell them to provide documents/pictures/writings so that I can learn about them. I have a deep-rooted idea (tell assumption) of you (which I didn't tell) and it says that you battle with your own self to distract your own into something you love to get transformed. That is something which I realized first when I again inspected "Light & Shadow" series …

Color me pretty

It's always a fun shoot when there is paint involved. I could not say no to such a fun shoot, even though I had to drive an hour to it. Traffic was not bad at all, at some point I felt like I was the only one driving on the road. The weather could have been better, but considering the shoot was indoors I really did not care, so with the audiobook on I drove.
Upon arrival, I saw a very old building, and the photographer said that he needs to let me in, so as soon as I arrived, I sent him a text that I was at his door. I was expecting to see an older guy, but I was mistaken. He was about my age, very handsome, dirty blond hair down to his shoulders, very pleasant smile. We walked into the building and he said it was on the second floor all the way back. I walked up the steps, and started looking up, he had framed pictures of his art all over and going up as well, so I started walking up, following the art, he said that we can do a tour of the building, and we did. Upstairs was very…

Sniffers

So my last post brings me up to this one. Bonnie and Clyde that I met on my birthday gave me an interesting idea of making some extra cash, and that’s selling my undergarments. As I was talking to Clyde at the Cafe he was giving me good advice on my new business venture.
Rule #1. Don’t be a model, just be a “girl next door” and keep it real Rule #2. Get a new name, new email to match your name, followed by PayPal, Amazon and Google Voice number Rule #3. If you meet people in person, only meet in public places, never let them see what you drive Rule #4. If you are having a drink and go to the bathroom, and they wait for you, never drink from the same cup/glass again Rule #5. Make it personal, send them 5 pics after the payment, make them feel special, make them come back for more.
Those are some really good rules. So I go home after the meeting and feeling very pumped up and ready to sell. I have a chat with Vik and he is all good with the idea of making extra money. He takes a came…

Bonnie and Clyde

I had a very interesting birthday. I know it's been a while since I posted anything, but I should probably start from the beginning.
As you all know by now I am a model and I also do some fetish shoots, I like it, and I am not afraid to admit it, especially when I get paid. So this couple booked me for a shoot, everything started out standard, my name, his name, her name, then we started getting into specifics, they showed me a couple of pics of what they are looking for, some light bondage, some toys, and massage.
What? Wait, you want me to come over, then you want to give me a massage, make me feel good, then blindfold me and make me enjoy myself, and I get paid? Yeah, that works for me, how soon would you like to shoot? And this is where it all started. My birthday was coming up and we were going over the best time and date for the shoot, and it looked like it was Aug 4th, I was planning on spending my birthday at the ocean, camping, but with the weather being bad we had to …

I was tied up all day…

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I had an interesting photoshoot over the past weekend. It was ribbon and rope bondage and it was my first time being tied up like that. As always I woke up anticipating my photoshoot, jumped in the shower, fed my men, and then the time was mine to make myself look pretty. Since I was planning on the red lipstick I wanted to be conservative with my eye makeup, after all I did not want to look like a very badly made up doll, Dinka Doll, doll, lol, no pun intended.  So I went easy with my eyes, opted in for a smoky light look. Topped it off with red mani and pedi and I was good to go. I jumped in my car, turned on my book and took off.
Upon arrival I met my rope specialist Robbie, it was a first time I was meeting him, as far as photographer, and I have shot with him before on many occasions. He proved to be reliable, fun, very professional and what's more important – he is a good photographer, who got me published.   After I dressed, or better say undressed I came out to get tied u…

Breaking point

I decided to install a new program on my phone to help me sleep. It was a great program; it tracks your light and deep phases of sleep then it picks the best time to wake you up within designated 30 minutes. It had fantastic reviews, so I was looking forward to a great night sleep. It was about 2:30 am when I heard the first very gentle buzzing, followed up by next. I did not think much of it because I know that my phone makes noises, and that was one of the reasons why I was trying program. I turned to another side and started falling asleep once again. Right as I was dosing off, I was awakened by the same buzzing noise, over and over again. At about 4:30, exhausted, pissed and sleep deprived, I was contemplating if I should throw my phone across the room or drown it in the toilet, but it did not guarantee the silence, so I decided that I was awake enough to uninstall the offending program, and try to fall asleep once again. I figured that I have another hour to catch some zzz’s. My …