Milk & Honey

This photographer tagged me on my modeling site, so I went to look at his work, and I was pleasantly surprised. His pictures were different, they had “old style” look, like you are getting a glimpse into the past. And I thought to myself that I don’t mind having a shoot with him, especially since his studio was in DC. It will be something totally different. So I sent him email, commenting on his pictures, we started talking, and he invited me to shoot at the location at the beach house, 3 hours away. At first I started talking myself out of it, and I started to compose “thanks, but no thanks” polite email, but then decided to “sleep on it” and in the morning, I could not find anything against it, and giving it final thought, and discussing it with Vik I decided that I can use some time away. The thought of seeing an ocean, when it is so bitter cold outside was warming my heart from the inside, and I was beginning to look forward to the weekend on the beach.

We exchanged few lengthy (on his end) emails. They were a bit confusing, I could not understand the concept he was after, but looking at his portfolio gave me an idea, so I decided not to stress over it and do what I always do, just go with a flow. He asked me if I knew any models in the area that wanted to join me. I told him no, but after thinking about it for few minutes I thought it would be a cool trip to take with my niece. She just turned 18, and wanted to follow my footsteps with modeling, and already had few shoots. After taking a day off at work, it was settled. She was going to sleep over on Friday and we were going to hit the road early in the morning.

The drive was easy, and we arrived to the location at about 11 am. The photographer was in his forties, not unfortunate looking, tall with sand color hair, flowing to his shoulders in soft waves. As soon as we got settled in, we changed and started shooting. And shooting, and shooting, and shooting we did. Around 4 pm we stopped for break. He was making us tea, and was offering food to my niece and me, since I don’t eat meat, I politely refused. He kept insisting I try his bread, with ground up peperoni in it. I am not really sure why pepperoni needed to be in the bread, but I had no desire to pick out little specs of it out. So he offered me some cheese. When I said I would have some, he brought over a small dish with shredded cheese. I almost meowed just looking at it, all I could handle was about half a teaspoon. That was my snack. When I asked where is the food for my niece he said that he wanted to continue shooting while we still have daylight. Wait a minute, we have been sitting on the couch, sipping tea, and chatting, and he did not even bother to warm up the food?

I know we, skinny models do not eat much, but still. Why would you offer food and not warm it up and give it? Why? His email read “If you two would like a weekend getaway, there will be no cost to you. If you are staying longer or have specific food requirements, it may be helpful to bring something. Feel free to hang out a while and see if you like the beach here, please. Otherwise, I am working on breads and sausages for the work I do, you are both welcome to.

I could mix a batch of vegan bread for you; very fresh and delicious, and turn on the refrigerator for your fresh foods. 

Our goal for the weekend, I think, should be to try out as many setups and approaches as possible, and to relax and have a good time.” He asked me if I brought any food with me, since it was the end of the week, and I do shopping on Saturday, I have not even had a single apple to take with me, I figured he would have something to feed us with, besides greasy sausage and dry ruined bread. But no, I was terribly mistaken. I would have been happy with just a simple carrot. I know carrots do not cost that much. I was totally ok with driving 4-5 miles to the nearest grocery store, but we did not want to waste daylight, so I agreed to go the store after dusk.

So after my niece had some food, and was no longer starving, we continued shooting. At about 6:30 we both were exhausted from work and lack of food. Why would a man, who feeds people for profit think that providing food for models was optional, I do not understand.

What I did understand eventually, was that he is a complex man, who is like many artists lives in his own little world, and gets pulled out of it periodically to see real everyday mundane life. He lives through music and photography. I was disappointed at first, but then I realized that I was getting way to judgmental, as always. He has all rights to be his weird self, and lead his life the way that is right for him. Who cares that he likes pretty girls to wear his clean shirts, and socks. Who cares he wanted to be in the pictures with us. After all he never asked us or hinted that he wanted to have sex, like some other photographers did. He never touched neither one of us inappropriately.

This meeting taught me a lesson, just because it is not “right in my book” it does not mean that there is anything wrong with it. The more I thought about it, the more I was understanding him. His life is not in that shop where he makes bread with pepperoni, it is just a way to support his hobbies, and I had no right to judge him the way I did. He is a free spirit, and a lone wolf, who is not used to having company and take care of others.

Needless to say, we decided not to go to the store. It was already 7 pm, so we decided to drive home. Vik was waiting for us with really good pizza, and that was exactly what we needed to finish up that day. Thank you Vik, for taking care of me :)