LifeSex&More

About a week ago I started talking to one of my old friend’s. We started working together over 20 years ago, and the next 10 continued to work together on and off. Naturally, we started catching up, a lot have changed in 10 years that we lost contact. Yesterday he asked me a question: “ I guess what I'm asking is do you remember when you were really content and happy ?” I could not answer that question right away, it made me think. Life is never the same, there are always ups and downs, but when was I really really happy? When I was a small kid, all I needed was ice-cream or some bubble gum and I was happy, then as I was getting older, simple ice-cream was no longer the giver of happiness. I was happy for a while when I found out that we will be migrating to USA. Growing up in the Soviet country with Jewish parents, I was expected to marry and have children, and I was under the impression that it will bring me everlasting happiness. When I married my Jewish prince, I put ...

Love is like a bird. You can't keep it locked up in the cage, even if it is a golden one, and when you hold the bird in your hand, you need to give it some room to breathe, otherwise the bird will suffocate. It's about holding on tight, but not too tight. How hard or how easy is it to see this fine line? There are different types of love. First love, love between partners, parental love, love between siblings, love towards things. Today I want to talk about parental love. Parenting does not come with an instruction manual. It would be just too easy if it did. Why do people have kids? I had my son when I was 22, I married when I was 18, and we decided to live few years for ourselves, then have a kid. At some point in my life the desire taken me over so completely, that I was looking at every baby, and every pregnant woman with gooey eyes and counting days till I am ovulating, till we can make a baby. Desire has nothing to do with reasoning. So what was the reason for wanti...

I eat my two peaches for lunch yesterday, and then hiccups started. I can't just sit at my desk and suffer it all by myself, I call my husband. I leave him a funny voice mail, and get one in return, and he is laughing his ass off. I call him, he is laughing. He tells me, try to drink some water, see if it will help, I do so, with no result. He says “oh I just need to scare you, BOOOOO”, no I am still hiccupping. Then he starts telling about a girl he was talking to on OkCupid. Still hiccuping in the background. Ok, I was the first one to create a profile there, I just needed someone to talk to, and I just wanted communication. I like talking to different people about sex, about life, etc. So he tells me that he was talking to this girl, and she sounded interested in him, and if I don't mind if they met for sex. Sharp intake of breath clears all the hiccups instantly. "No, I don't mind at all" - I manage to say. I am sitting with a phone to my ear, able to br...

When you keep a feeling locked up inside of you for the fear of it coming out and hurting someone you love you only hurt yourself. I woke up very depressed on Friday, it was almost physical pain, and it felt like I had extra 20 pounds to carry around. I was trying to shake it off, and it was just weighing me down like a stone tied to my ankle and pulling me down to the depth of the dark, cold water. I knew deep down the exact reason for this horrible feeling, but it was not formed into the words yet. I was trying to mute it, I did not want to hear it, but my conscious would not allow it to be ignored. When I came in to work, I thought it would be easier for me to push it down, the next thing I knew I was typing away in my blog, and that’s how my previous post was born. The feelings were just pouring out of me like a vomit trying to get rid of the poison in the body. It helped me a lot, when I was finished writing I felt lighter, but the deep feeling of dread did not go away. I co...

I had a very intense conversation with my parents last night. It all started after dinner, for a last few month an episode from my childhood came up in my memory lane, and it was disturbing me emotionally. When I was like 8 or 9 I forgot to take my keys. What child at that age can remember everything? So I told my mom about it, and I told her that I was going to stay with my friend, who lived in the same apartment building on the first floor. Everything was going great, until I heard a knock on the door, and I was greeted with a very angry father. I knew I was in trouble once I saw his face, he was pissed, he yelled at me that he wanted to stay late at work, and now he had to rush home to save a “damsel in distress”. To me – I was totally fine, I could have waited another 2 hours, what do I care… but no, I guess he had to make a point of picking me up and putting it in my face. So we go upstairs, we lived on the 4th floor, and he is fuming, and telling me that a beating is in order. ...