Black will always be Black
I was supposed to see my Master friend today – it's Friday. I
have not called to confirm, I am waiting, I am not really sure I want to go. I turn
to my Tarot cards and ask a question. As I am shuffling a card falls out, and I
interpret it as a message. I proceed to shuffle, and I get my answer as a NO.
So I am already planning on how I will be calling him when I am half way home,
and telling him that I totally forgot. Ten minutes later he sends me a text with
a reminder, I exhausted every excuse. So I go and see my Master friend right after
work. After all we did agree to meet every Friday for my training.
Came over,
we talked, chilled, talked some more until the moment when I heard someone was opening
the front door. That was his new Slave. A very smart, intelligent overweight and
tired looking attorney. She was living with my Master friend for the past 3
month. She was recovering from her very bad marriage that lasted 20 years.
All three of us are sitting and talking about bad and
abusive relationships, how we all dealt with them, talking about plans for the
future, money making plans. We are all almost naked, only underwear is on, it
kinda fits with the conversation we are having. We are bearing souls, so why
not bear our bodies as well?
I am beginning to feel little bit uncomfortable there. No,
nothing changed, we are still talking, snacking on the chips with salsa. We are
talking about relationships and sex, the more I hear, the further away my mind
wanders. He is talking about our mutual relationships, and how we are going to
make a lot of money and travel, but I hear another conversation that is not
spoken out loud. He says “Dinka Doll, we are going to start on the BDSM website
for you, you are kinky, we will be able to make some good money, and you will
have fun and enjoy it” But all I can hear out of this conversation is “I got this down to a science, I am a
professional pimp. I collect battered women, I care for them the way one would
care for a wounded animal. I help them find inner strength, and then I use them
in a loving way. They clean my house, take care of all my sexual needs, financially
support me with my lifestyle, and I just lead, tell them what to do and take
care of them sexually. Everybody wins.” As a slave he wants full submission, no
questions asked. He needs to know everything about the slave, who she talks to,
what she eats, how she eats, every little detail of her life is under his
watchful eye.
He is telling me how he can arrange some “meetings for me
with guys with money” who would pay up to $2000 for few hours with me. And I am
thinking to myself – from one hand the money side of this sound good, but is
that the way I really want to make money? Is that what I want to do with my
life? Suddenly it felt very dirty to me, and I was having second thoughts about
this whole deal.
He said “let’s go upstairs to the playroom, and lighten the
mood”, we follow his lead. He takes a rope, and binds Her full big breasts, she
is feeling relieve, Her breasts feel lighter now, they got much needed support,
he plays with her nipples for few minutes, and asks me to do the same. Her breasts
feel soft and tender in my hands, I lift them up to feel how heavy they are, and
I touch her sensitive nipples. He asks her if she is ready to cum, she softly
nods. He snaps his fingers and Her face looks like it's almost in tears, and I don't
quite understand what is happening, then I realize that she actually came. I am
just sitting and observing, he snaps his fingers and she cums once again. He leads
her into the second room and tells her to sit down.
He ties me down on the
cross, takes a whip and starts flogging me. Why is he punishing me? Wait, I
did want to experience this, I wanted to see how it feels, I am not aroused, I don't
like it, I don't like it one bit. My ass is red, and he is done with this
punishment, I have not said a word. He takes out a magic wand and plays with
me. My pussy feels overly sensitive, I cum once, I am done, and I don't want to
feel the vibrator any more. I want to go home, I want to go home right now, and
I want to be released. I am almost in a state of panic, and all I can think of is
safety of my house and being in the arms of a person who will never make me do
what I don't want, who will never degrade me. He unhooks me from the chain,
grabs my hair and orders me to play with Her. I don't want to! I am not
attracted to her, and I don't want to play. I am almost having a tantrum, I keep
chanting “I want to go home, please release me” he pays me no mind as he pulls
my hair harder, he grabs my throat and chokes me lifting me to my toes, it's hard
to breeze. I look him in the eyes, unbending and unwilling to surrender to his
will. It pisses him off, I feel dominance oozing from his gaze. He orders me to
sit down. I am still wearing the cuffs on my wrists and my ankles, and now I sit
down next to Her. He is asking me what have I learned today. My breath is
shallow, I have 3 million thoughts running through my head, but none of them are
forming into the words. I just look up and stare into his dark eyes. He finally
removes my cuffs. I run downstairs to get dressed. He asks me to wait for him. He
wants to make sure that I get to my car safely.
Its 8:30 in the evening, he is
upset with me, because I told him that I will stay till about 9 on Fridays when
we meet, but he walks me to the car, and tells me that I talk too much. Apparently
I am not supposed to answer all the questions that he is asking. How was I supposed
to know that?
I drive home in silence, I need to think, I need to calm
down, and I need to process. I know that I no longer want to see him ever
again. I no longer want him in my life. I finally realize that BDSM is fun and
great only as a play and no more then that. I am done, I feel better now as I get
closer to my safe place, to my home.
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