Independence day.

When you wake up in the morning and realize that your friends fled your house, you panic. Chain of events starts running through your head, then you sit down and put your hands on your head, bow down and realize “you are a terrible hostess and a bad, bad friend”.

It was a three day weekend, it was agreed that our out of town friends will come for a visit. The plan was to hang out, spend some time together, and relax. Great plan.

“Please make sure the dinner is waiting for us when we arrive”, not a problem, after a long drive it is very pleasant when hot food is waiting for you. Friends arrive, dinner is ready, bedroom is ready, clean sheets are fresh, the bed is inviting. It's a perfect rest. It's a perfect start to a perfect weekend.

Trip to the park is scheduled for the next day, we get up early, no time for breakfast, considering we will be celebrating someone’s birthday and food will be plentiful. Weather was perfect, it was not too hot, celebrating, and laying out on the sun was great, it was the kind of rest we all were looking forward to. We all work hard, we all need rest, and it was such a perfect day! All good things come to an end, and this celebration was winding down, my cake that I did not bake was a real sensation, everybody tried a piece. Trip home took about an hour and we arrived around 5, boys grabbed fishing rods and went fishing, girls decided to rest, we both dosed off. Before too long boys came home with no catch, just as well, it means no cleaning fish. Dinner was easy, I made a salad, and we had lots of meat left-overs for the day before, at about 9 PM we called it a day, and went to bed.

Sunday plan was visiting capitol of MD and maybe dinner at the restaurant. I woke up around 7:30 and was feeling very lazy, Vik make us tea, and got back to bed. Our usual Sunday morning. Launching, drinking tea, and playing games. Usually when we have guests, I am in the kitchen at 8 in the morning, making breakfast, today I am feeling super lazy, I know friends will not be up for a while, I know he is already fishing since about 5, and she is asleep. I don’t have much food in the fridge, since I had no time during the week to shop, so I figured, she will let us know when she is up, and then we decide what’s for breakfast. Time flew by so fast, and the house was so quiet that I did not realize that it was already past 11am! They must be starving. I put some clothes on, and go into the kitchen. I see that they already found some food in the fridge and finishing up with breakfast. We were not very hungry and since we were planning on leaving soon I saw that they are no longer hungry and we can wait till we get to our destination and grab a bite there. It was decided to take their car, it was a nice change, since we always drive when they visit us.

Drive was not bad, we did not hit any traffic on the way, and as soon as we arrived and parked we went to eat at our usual bar. Food was great, weather was fantastic, we took a nice walk, and visited art festival that was in town. We were driving home when rain started, the day could not have been any better. Little tired from the long walk, we were driving home. Nobody was hungry, so we decided to skip the restaurant. Vik wanted to spend some alone time with me, she wanted to rest, he wanted to fish. As soon as we all got home we separated. Vik and I decided to wait for about an hour before hiding out in our bedroom, to see if she will need anything. Since we been friends for a very long time, and they feel right at home when they visit, with clear conscious we retired to the bedroom, closed the door, and were dead to the rest of the world till next morning.  I was little surprised when I heard knock on the door, and again we confirmed that we are out this evening.

Next morning came around, we had a very long night, but I was out of the bedroom at 10am to start thinking on the breakfast, I wanted a bagel so bad, I could almost taste the lox on my tongue. In the living room I bump into the kids (grown kids), they made plans for that morning to take pictures of our friends. They tell me that our friends are gone. All 3 of us are wearing bathrobes, still little sleepy, looking at each other, trying to figure out what happen last night that our friends fled our house in the middle of the night. I am beginning to feel horrible, what a bad person I am, what did we do that they fled our house like it was plague. I start making calls, she did not answer, I call him. She woke up after her nap, nobody was there, she felt alone, he got upset that we did not wait around till he fished and she woke up, and then had took our time for the two of us after 9. The only thought is in my mind is that I am such a horrible hostess, I start apologizing, I feel bad, I offended our friends. He tells me to call her, as soon as I hang up the phone I make another call. I start apologizing once again, feeling terrible. While she tells me “I did not say anything when I woke up yesterday and there was no breakfast waiting for me, so we had to find food in the fridge ourselves, but I was really upset when I got up from my nap yesterday and there was nobody around, it felt like you two were too tired to entertain us, you should have told us, and we would have come at a different time”, the only thing I can say was “sorry” for the 15^th time. Right as I hang up the phone, the meaning of the words spoken penetrate my brain with a painful jolt. Am I running bed and breakfast or I just have a usual visit of my friends? Am I turning into a maid that now my cooking is always assumed? Do I not have the same right to rest on my weekend in my house or do I need to wait on them hand and foot, it is so terrible that we took few hours to ourselves without making plans for all 4 of us? Are they not grown people who are resting in the friend’s house and who can take care of themselves?

Now I am no longer feeling like a bad hostess, now I am feeling like being taking for granted and on some degree being taken advantage of. I am beginning to remember all the visits, how I get up early to make breakfast every time, how on all the trips I am still responsible for cooking breakfast, and share the dinner responsibility as well. I understand when I have guests in my house it is a decent thing to take care of them, we never visit them because I don’t like big cities, and they don’t have the space as we do, but on the mutual trips, that I was invited to, I was kinda expecting the same treatment as I provide when they come over, but no, somehow it became my job to feed. It have never bothered me before, I have never brought it up because it was never such a big deal, but one day I miss the making breakfast event, I turn into a bad friend, and it is my fault that they drove 4 hours back and forth to see us. When they come over they want to rest, and I happily give them that opportunity, why is it so unusual that I would want to spend some alone time with my husband and would want some rest too? Is it the end of our friendship? I really don’t know, but what I do know, is that I am done apologizing and done being taken for granted.