Broken children

Every parents dream is for their child to have a better life than what they had. Parents are teaching their children what they know, the way it was presented to them by their parents. When child grows up he or she may take parent’s lifestyle or something totally different, if they have conflicts with parents or just don’t agree with parental lifestyle.

I spend a wonderful weekend with my husband and my friend, and then when I was able to turn my phone on I was bombarded with voice mails from my mother in-law. She is suffering from paranoia and is sure that she knows some very important secret and she is a keeper of that secret. If she will leave her house someone will kill her and then kill all of us, so she feels that she is protecting us. She sees danger in everything and it gets to the point where it is distractive. She drove crazy my parents, my son, and her sister with her husband. My husband was less than amused when he had to deal with it.

That made me think. I took myself, my husband, my friend (his ex) and my ex, and looked at our lives. We are all broken in one way or another due to our parents parenting. Now I am at age where I vividly remember my teenage years and my parents are at the same age as I am right now, and my son is in his teenage years. So it gives me very good perspective on relationships. I am really hoping that our kids when they will get to be our age will not be as broken as we are right now.

Lets look at every single one of us and how childhood reflected in our lives today. We all had Jewish mothers accept for my friend. And we all grew up in the same country.  

I am having hard time to love myself for just who I am, and not what I do for others. Or how others view me. I am afraid of confrontations, I avoid them even if I am hurting myself. I always try to please people in my surroundings. And I always feel that I don’t do enough, and I feel responsible for my parent’s lives.

My husband’s childhood was a lot different than mine. He grew up to be somewhat spoiled, and unappreciative. His parents did all the thinking for him, thus making him incapable of making decisions on his own. All they did was gave his strong desire to not to do anything at all, and as a result he has no drive, and no desire to succeed.

My friend was abused as a child by her parents. She was not wanted, she was an accident, and her parents spanked her, left her alone in the woods to teach her some sort of the lesson. And made her feel guilty for her existence. And now she takes care of them. And she feels responsible for them financially and in every aspect of their lives.

My ex-husband was growing up with neglect. His parents neglected him when he was little, he was coming home from school to the drunken party at the house. And as a result he is an alcoholic, he was able to quit drinking only after I left him. And now is alone, incapable of having and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.