Sniffers

So my last post brings me up to this one. Bonnie and Clyde that I met on my birthday gave me an interesting idea of making some extra cash, and that’s selling my undergarments.
As I was talking to Clyde at the Cafe he was giving me good advice on my new business venture.

Rule #1. Don’t be a model, just be a “girl next door” and keep it real
Rule #2. Get a new name, new email to match your name, followed by PayPal, Amazon and Google Voice number
Rule #3. If you meet people in person, only meet in public places, never let them see what you drive
Rule #4. If you are having a drink and go to the bathroom, and they wait for you, never drink from the same cup/glass again
Rule #5. Make it personal, send them 5 pics after the payment, make them feel special, make them come back for more.

Those are some really good rules. So I go home after the meeting and feeling very pumped up and ready to sell. I have a chat with Vik and he is all good with the idea of making extra money. He takes a camera and shoot the first 3 pics for our new business venture. I create a new email account, place an ad on CL and wait.

Wow, that didn’t take long at all, about 5 minutes later I get my first email, then second, so total in the first 10 min of my posting the ad I had about 10 emails in my inbox. So I answer them all “what are they worth to you?” I really want to know, even though my friend told me, I want to hear it from my customer’s mouth. It's kinda late, so I answer my final email and go to sleep.

Wake up in the morning, business as usual, and by 6:20 I run out the door to make it to work on time, arrive at 7, open up my inbox and OMG….what do I see, I have over 30 new emails. My eyes pop out of the sockets, and I start reminding myself a cartoon. How? Over 30 emails, have the world gone crazy? Those are just my old and dirty thong. After the initial shock wore off, I start going through them and answering. Very soon I realize that my free mail server cannot handle so many incoming and outgoing emails and it crashes, so I decide to get a new email with Google after all google have never let me down. As soon as a new email is ready I forward all my emails to Google and watch them flood my inbox once again. Now it's time to really answer some of those!

Offers to be fucked hard are deleted right away, I am not offering my body, just my scent. After many email exchanges, I finally find my first “customer” and schedule a meeting with him about 5 minutes away from my job in DD. It sounds safe enough.

I have my moral support on my phone – that’s Clyde, I do not call Vik like I usually do after work, I don’t want him to talk me out of it, I am ready.

So I arrive few minutes’ early and order myself a cup of hot green tea. The guy at the counter takes my order, looks at me and asks “do you want it black?” I look up, he interrupted my thoughts of upcoming trade, I am nervous and worried, I have never done anything like that before and now I find myself blankly staring into his eyes and answering like I am talking to an idiot “No, I don’t want my green tea black, I want it green” and then I realize that he is asking me if I want any sugar in it. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t buy beverages at the stores, you forget simple questions that arise.

I take my hot green tea and sit down in the corner. A text comes in, he will be in a min, and he is driving a blue car. My breathing is rapid, my eyes can't concentrate on anything at all, I frantically start looking around and texting Clyde, he is trying to calm me down, telling me that I am fine, everything is good and asking me to text him as soon as I am done with him. My hands are shaking, I take a sip of my tea and burn my tongue, but that does not matter, I don’t feel it right now, all I feel is my shaking, and panic. I try to calm down, I take a deep breath, I count to five, after all, he is just a guy who will give me $50 for my old and smelly undies. On the count of 5, I see a blue Toyota pull into the parking lot and parks right next to me. I send the guy a text, he replies that he will be right in. I see him fidgeting in the car and then he comes out and walks inside, goes straight to me.

We sit down, he looks at me, and tells me “I know it's your first time, no need to be this nervous, it's gonna be ok”. He is asking me why I picked him – my answer – his emails were less weird, he laughs at that. We chat for a minute, I pull out a side of my thong so he can confirm that in fact, it's the same pair as “advertised” and I tell him that I am ready for a trade. I tell him he needs to pay me first, then I go to the bathroom, and take the panties off. He shows me the money and says that he wants me to take them off first. I turn around to dash to the bathroom, only to find the door will not open. I go back, and we sit and chat for another 5 minutes, and nobody comes out of the woman’s bathroom. I can't take it anymore, I am still shaking like a leaf inside and worried about the whole deal, I make a run for the man’s bathroom, hoping there will not be a poor sucker who would need to pee right this moment. I walk into the bathroom, lock up and rip my pants off, spit on fingers and rub the spit into my pussy, making my panties a bit wet. I am done, I put the panties inside a zip lock bag, and then into the envelope.

Very nervous I come out, and we do the swap, I give him the “package” and pick up the money off the counter – some tens, some ones, and a five. We thank each other and walk out to our vehicles. Rule #3 totally forgotten. Once I am in my car, I text Clyde that I am good and ready to go home, I relax on the drive home, life is good, I made some money out of literally nothing, and I am safe, he drove off before me, so I don’t have to worry about him following me and finding out where I live.
I come home, pull out the money out of my pocket and place it in front of Vik. I did not tell him where I was until that moment. He stops what he was doing on the computer, looks up and can't believe that I actually found some idiot who wanted to get my used underpants.
I ask Vik to take promised pics and email them to my first Sniffer. And we go to bed. Right as I am falling asleep my monkey brain tells me “he saw what you drive”, “so, he left before me, he did not follow me, I looked in the mirror and did not see a blue car”, and here is my monkey brain goes into overdrive.

Monkey brain: “He did not need to follow you, you stupid girl, do you remember he took time parking, he parked his car next to yours, the DD shop was absolutely empty so it was easy to guess what car is yours, did you see when he arrived he pulled out a few feet back next to your car and you were not looking what he was doing, he must have put a GPS on the bottom of your car!” Ok, I start panicking, my sleep is gone, my breathing getting faster, and that stupid monkey brain gives me his next punch: “he gave you only $40 and not $50, he planned everything out before, that’s why he gave you change, so you will be so stupid and shy and not bother counting it” OMG, that’s right, in my mind I am counting the money and my monkey brain is right once again, it was only $40 there. It was like he knew exactly what he was doing. I am sinking deeper and deeper into my panic. “now he knows where you live, he almost knows where you work, since you told him the place was 5 min away, he will come after you and will kill you and rape you, and not necessarily in that order” – AAAAA shut up my monkey brain, I don’t want to hear it, shut up, shut up, shut up!!!! I yell at myself in my head and thinking if I should get dressed, and come out to check under my car for the GPS.


My dog is peacefully sleeping next to me, I pet my dog, she makes me feel better, I stop the panic, I don’t want to go this road, I already have a crazy mother in law, I don’t want to follow her footsteps. I will not go outside to check my car, there is no GPS under it, and it’s all my stupid monkey brain that was working overtime on me. Go to sleep, you have no authority over me, I am stronger and I will not let you scare me. I am strong and intelligent with a dirty little secret, I am safe in my own house, and with those thoughts, I fall asleep. 

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